This is a long one (well over 1000 moves); settle in, bucko. And please, please save periodically, since there's some randomness that can !%#$ you up just like in the earlier Zorks. (...yaaay.)
Regarding the Jester
The jester will appear at random throughout the game, as well as in several set locations. Sometimes he just says something bizarre. He can turn you into an alligator, which will cause you to drop everything you are carrying or wearing. When you have "a bit of difficulty breathing" he's put a rubber clown nose on you; remove it and drop it. While you are inside the castle's perimeter walls, he can make you get picked up by a bat and carried to a random outdoor castle location. He can also make a bedbug appear, which will block you from exiting the room; sing a lullaby to make the bedbug fall asleep. (These all might have been amusing if they happened once or twice; the fact that they happen many more times than that makes them extremely annoying.)
You need to get three things from the jester:
1. A slate, which he will give you. Read it, make a note of what it says, then drop it.
2. A scroll, which he drops. Pick it up and read it if you like, but it doesn't change from game to game, so you can ignore it.
3. A "funny paper" (comic strip), which will blow by a turn or two after he says "see you in the funny papers". You must pick it up immediately after you see "It's a funny paper!". Read it, make a note of what it says, then drop it. If you miss it the first time, you will get more chances.
Prologue
You start as a servant in the court of Lord Dimwit Flathead the Excessive. Go in the directions you're told until a "gaunt, bearded man" arrives -- the wizard Megaboz. Examine him. When everyone starts diving under the tables, do likewise. After the fireball, stand up and get the parchment. In a few moves everything will fade and you will start the real game, set 94 years later, where you are a descendant of that servant.
For Your Amusement:
Examine the tables in the Banquet Hall.
Examine Dimwit Flathead.
Before Megaboz shows up, go west from the Banquet Hall into the Entrance Hall. (save first)
Instead of hiding under a table, stay standing while Megaboz casts his spell. (save first)
Main Area of Castle
You begin in the Great Hall. You can examine the parchment and calendar if you like, but they refer to game packaging items used for copy protection, so the in-game items are not necessary. The parchment tells you what you have to do to break Megaboz's curse and complete the game: collect 24 items that belonged to the 12 Flatheads (2 items each), throw them into the cauldron, and speak the magic word.
From the Great Hall, go up onto the Balcony, and south to the Gallery. Examine the rebus. Throughout the story you will encounter key-shaped buttons that will remove the animals here and reveal the picture underneath. Press any key to exit the closeup view. Go south into the Closet. Get the bag and press the button on the wall.
Go north twice and down into the Great Hall, then south twice into the Throne Room. Take the sceptre. Sit on the throne and snap your fingers to open the Secret Passage. Stand, go south into the Secret Passage, and get the candle. Blessedly, the candle is an inexhaustible light source. (The last thing this game needs on top of everything else is resource conservation!) Go south, west, and up twice to the Solar. Take the iron key. The solution to the jester's riddle is Y. Go west and south to the Magic Clothes Closet. Take the glove and cloak and wear the glove. (Because of inventory limits, in general it is helpful to wear anything that can be worn, except for the cloak, which has a magical effect when taken off and put on.)
Go north, east, down twice, east twice, down, south, and down to the Oubliette. Take the seaman's cap and wear it. Wait for the jester to appear. Answer triplet (or any other multiple, such as quadruplet). You will rise to the Dungeon. Go southwest to the Torture Chamber. Open all the torture devices until you find the metronome, and take it. Go northeast, north, up, west, north four times back to the Great Hall, then north and east to the Banquet Hall. This cauldron is where you will be throwing the 24 objects. So far you have three - the sceptre, the metronome, and the cap. Put the sceptre and metronome in, but hold on to the cap because you'll be needing it later.
For Your Amusement:
Say either of the two magic words readable on the parchment, "zipso" or "furgalneti".
Climb down the banner from the Balcony.
Get the straw from the Scullery and put it in your mouth.
Do an inventory after putting on the glove.
The Village Area
Go east and down to the Root Cellar and get the walnut. Go up and west twice to the Entrance Hall. Ring the bell. The solution to this riddle is time. Go north to the Inner Bailey. Take the worm. Go northwest twice and up into the Upper Barbican. Turn the wheel to open the drawbridge. Go back down, northwest twice, and southwest to the Garrison. Open the locker. Take the steel key. Go northeast twice, southeast, east, and north to the URS Office. Answer bookkeeper. The "clink" sound was a zorkmid coin; take it.
Go south, east, and south to the Post Office. Take the package, read it, and open it. Examine the pigeon. Read the pigeon. This "homing pigeon" is a teleportation device; any character who takes or is given the pigeon will be transported to the location of the perch. (Sometimes when you try to take it, it will scuttle out of your reach. Usually this isn't a problem because you were trying to use it to go somewhere, so you can just try again, but if you're just shuffling items around while also holding the perch, make sure you've actually got a hold of the pigeon before you wander away.)
Go north and east to FrobozzCo HQ. Climb to the 19th floor, go south to the office of Frank Lloyd Flathead, and take the T-square. Return north and go down until you find yourself in the FrobozzCo Basement. Push the key-shaped button.
Go south to the Frobozz Philharmonic Hall. Get on the conductor's stand and you will be transported to the Conductor's Pit. Get off and take the violin. Get on the stand again, then get off. From the Philharmonic Hall, return to the Banquet Hall: north, up, west three times, northwest, southwest, southeast four times to the Inner Bailey, south, east. Put the T-square and violin into the cauldron.
For Your Amusement:
In the Upper Barbican, with the candle present, get the cannonball and drop it through the "murder hole".
At the Barbican, try to enter the moat. Wait until the jester turns you into an alligator, and then try again. (save first)
Climb to the 400th floor of the FrobozzCo Building. (This is not fatal to your character, but may be fatal to your sanity, so save first if you don't want to have to climb back down!)
The East Wing
Go south and southeast to the East Hall. Unlock the door with the iron key, then drop the iron key. Open the door and go east and north to the Library. Touch the armor three times and pick up the lance. Read the encyclopedia. Read about jester and note his middle name. (Wow. No wonder [spoiler in ROT13] ur qrpvqrq gb tb jvgu "Zrtnobm" vafgrnq, huh?) Go south twice to the Chapel and open the trap door. Go north and east to the Guest Rooms. Take the wand. (This wand turns living things into similar unliving objects for 16 turns, and has five "charges" in it.) Go east and up to the Jester's Quarters. Open the north door and go north twice to the Pyramid Room. Take and wear the goggles. Return south twice to the Jester's Quarters. Save the game and open the south door.
This "Tower of Bozbar" puzzle is more commonly known as Tower of Hanoi. When moving the discs, be very careful not to accidentally place a heavier weight on top of a lighter weight. In standard Tower of Hanoi this is simply an illegal move, but in Tower of Bozbar you will destroy the lighter weight, rendering the puzzle unsolvable.
First, you want to solve it to move all the discs to the right peg. Start by moving disc 1 to the left peg. Then move disc 2 to the right peg and place disc 1 on top of it so you can move disc 3 to the left peg. Move disc 1 to the central (or extra) peg so you can place disc 2 on top of disc 3 on the left, then place disc 1 on top of disc 2. Continue in this pattern -- if the disc number you're unstacking from another peg is even, place disc 1 on top of it; if odd, disc 1 goes on the extra peg.
The following sequence will work:
1 L, 2 R, 1 R, 3 L, 1 C, 2 L, 1 L, 4 R, 1 R, 2 C, 1 C, 3 R, 1 L, 2 R, 1 R, 5 L, 1 C, 2 L, 1 L, 3 C, 1 R, 2 C, 1 C, 4 L, 1 L, 2 R, 1 R, 3 L, 1 C, 2 L, 1 L, 6 R, 1 R, 2 C, 1 C, 3 R, 1 L, 2 R, 1 R, 4 C, 1 C, 2 L, 1 L, 3 C, 1 R, 2 C, 1 C, 5 R, 1 L, 2 R, 1 R, 3 L, 1 C, 2 L, 1 L, 4 R, 1 R, 2 C, 1 C, 3 R, 1 L, 2 R, 1 R
After you hear a click and the tower tilts to the right, open the north door, then go north and east to the right-hand Pyramid Room. Take the manuscript. Return west and south to the Jester's Quarters and save the game again. Open the south door and play Tower of Bozbar again (...yaaay), this time moving the discs to the left peg. Start by moving disc 1 to the central peg (you can imagine a "0" disc there, which is even, thus disc 1 should go on top of it).
The following sequence will work:
1 C, 2 L, 1 L, 3 C, 1 R, 2 C, 1 C, 4 L, 1 L, 2 R, 1 R, 3 L, 1 C, 2 L, 1 L, 5 C, 1 R, 2 C, 1 C, 3 R, 1 L, 2 R, 1 R, 4 C, 1 C, 2 L, 1 L, 3 C, 1 R, 2 C, 1 C, 6 L, 1 L, 2 R, 1 R, 3 L, 1 C, 2 L, 1 L, 4 R, 1 R, 2 C, 1 C, 3 R, 1 L, 2 R, 1 R, 5 L, 1 C, 2 L, 1 L, 3 C, 1 R, 2 C, 1 C, 4 L, 1 L, 2 R, 1 R, 3 L, 1 C, 2 L, 1 L
Open the north door, go north and west to the left Pyramid Room , and get the cup. Go east, south, down, west three times, northwest, and north to the Banquet Hall. Put the lance and manuscript in the cauldron.
The West Wing
Go west twice to the Parlor. Point the wand at the lobster and it will turn into a nutcracker. Take the nutcracker. Go south and southwest to the West Hall. Unlock the door with the steel key and drop the key. Open the door and go west twice. To solve this riddle, open the walnut with the nutcracker. Show the walnut to the jester, then eat it. Drop the shell and nutcracker. Go north to the Peg Room. Save the game. Play Peggleboz. (...yaaay.) The following sequence will win: QG SQ HR UL IK TI EJ OG AE FN MO LJ PF FC BD DK QG EJ OG. Press X to exit.
Go north to the Gaming Room. Since you are wearing the goggles, you are able to see where the jester really hid the zorkmid bill in his shell game. Point to that location and you will get the bill. Go south twice, east, northeast, east twice, and north to the Banquet Hall. Put the bill into the cauldron, and drop everything else. Go south, west twice, southwest, west, and south to the Gym. Pick up the dumbbell, take it back north, east, northeast, east twice, and north to the Banquet Hall, and put it in the cauldron.
Since you will be returning to this cauldron a lot, the Banquet Hall is a safe and convenient place to leave extra items you don't have room to carry. Leave everything here except the candle, coin, package with pigeon and perch, and the cloak, and make sure you are are wearing the glove.
For Your Amusement:
Save a game. Try to take the fish tank, and then try to enter it. Restore and try the reverse order.
Eat the lobster.
Close the walnut after opening it.
When the jester is preventing you from entering the dirigible hangar (West Hall), teleport him away using the pigeon (drop the perch somewhere else, then give him the pigeon), and then go west.
Underground
Go west, south, and down twice to the Lowest Hall. Examine the vault door. Turn the dial to any number between 1 and 2570; the glove gives you enough manual dexterity to automatically crack the safe. Open the vault door and go south into the Vault. Take the stock certificate. Go north twice to the Passage Storage Room and take both the magic passages. Read the notice, then drop it. Go south, up, southwest, south, and west twice to a location called Construction. (The blueprint you passed in the Field Office is another copy-protection packaging object, so you can ignore it.)
You're now at the edge of a maze. (Oh joy! Oh nostalgia! Oh sarcasm!) Follow these directions: SW. SE. W. W. N. NE. N. At Lot 38, install northwest-southeast passage in northwest wall. NW. NE. In Lot 22, install north-south passage in north wall. N. NE. W. SW. SW. SW. W. NW. In Lot 17, drop the perch and wear the cloak. You will be transported to the Plain, which is actually a chessboard, on square K7.
Go west three times and north once. Give the pigeon to the soldier (black knight). The knight will be transported to Lot 17 underground (where you left the perch) and he will automatically pick up the perch. Remove the cloak and you will return from the Plain as well. Take the pigeon from the knight. Tell him to go to the hardhat's location with the command knight, north twice then west once. Drop the pigeon, then take it again to join the knight on Lot 0. (Because he has the perch, you are teleported to his location.) Tell the knight, who has automatically taken the hardhat, to reverse his move: knight, east once then south twice. Drop and take the pigeon again to return to Lot 17. Take the hardhat , wear it, and take the perch. Drop the cloak. Backtrack to the Exit: SE, E, NE, NE, NE, E, SW, S, SW, SE, S, SW, S, E, E, NW, NE, E, E.
Go south twice to the Toll Plaza. Read the sign. Put the zorkmid coin in the basket. Drop everything but the candle here (you can keep the hat and glove on). Go south, east, and down to the Orb Room. Take the four orbs. Go up, west, north, and get your stuff. Put the pigeon and perch in the package. Go north again, and east to the Cave-In. Answer the jester's question according to the name you read in his encyclopedia entry. Take the anti-pit bomb. Go west, north twice, and northeast to the Lower Hall. Go down twice to the Pits. Throw the bomb at the pits. Take the lantern. Go up three times, north, and east to the Banquet Hall. Put the certificate in the cauldron. Drop everything but the candle. Go west, south, down, and north to the Laboratory. Take the screwdriver and return south, up, north, and east to the Banquet Hall. Put the screwdriver in the cauldron.
For Your Amusement:
Smash the orbs.
Port Foozle
Go south, west, down, southwest, south twice, west twice, southwest, west thrice, and north to the Casino. Sit down and play Double Fanucci. To win the game, you need to wait for the jester to discard Trebled Fromps, and then play three undertrumps in a row. You should therefore draw enough to maintain at least 3 cards in your hand. Other than that, you can play whatever you like (except Resign, which quits the game). If any of the undertrump moves are illegal, just wait for the jester to discard Trebled Fromps again. You may lose several games before you finally win.
When you have won, take the broom and stand. Go south, east, and north to the Inquisition. Take a number and the box (which contains a pellet of squid repellent). Read the sign. When your number is called, type executioner, behead me. You will return to the Fishing Village. Drop the ticket. Go south twice and southeast to the Warning Room, and read the sign. Proceed northeast. Read the doors, one at a time. The correct door is the one that mentions the Veritassi in the second statement. Open that door and take the shovel. Go down, and you will be at the Fork. Return to the Great Hall: northeast, east twice, north twice, northeast, up.
For Your Amusement:
Carry the pigeon and perch into the Inquisition after leaving a chess piece out in the Fishing Village.
Carry the cloak into the Inquisition.
Castle and Village again
Go south four times, east, down, south, and southeast to the Cell. Sweep the cobwebs with the broom and take the glass flask. Drop the broom. Go northwest and north three times to the Crypt. Look under the slab that was indicated by the "funny paper" to find a hole to the Oracle, but you're not going there just yet. Go up, north, west, northwest, and north to the Banquet Hall. Put the flask in the cauldron.
Go west, north, and northwest four times to the Outer Bailey. Stand on the stump and jump in the directions that were indicated by the slate. Dig with the shovel, then drop it. Open the chest and take the gaudy crown (flashing back to Zork II yet?). Return to the Banquet Hall: southeast four times, south, east, and put the crown in the cauldron. Get the package with pigeon and perch. Make sure you are also carrying the candle and box of squid repellent and wearing the seaman's cap.
For Your Amusement:
Kill the giant spiders in the Cell.
The Lake Area
Go south, west, down, southeast, and east to the West Shore. Enter the dock and then enter the boat. Examine the controls. Press the white button and the yacht will go out to the middle of Lake Flathead. Go down to the Hold and examine the bathysphere. Open the box, get the pellet of squid repellent, and drop it. Open the bathysphere and get inside. Close the door and examine the controls. Turn on the lights. Put your hand in the waldo hole and get the pellet of squid repellent.
Push the lever down to go Underwater. Wait four turns and you will hit Lake Bottom. Drop the pellet and get the ruby. Push the lever up. Wait four turns. When you reach the top, remove your hand from the hole. Turn off the light, open the door, get out of the bathysphere, and take the ruby. Go up and press the green button to go to the South Shore. Leave the yacht and leave the dock. Go west to the Stream. Try to go west again. Answer music to the riddle and you will receive a diploma.
For Your Amusement:
While in the bathysphere in the Hold with your hand in the waldo hole, wait for the jester to appear, then pick him up.
Install a magic passage in a wall of the bathysphere.
The Grotto and Shrine
Go east, south, east, northeast, north, and east to the Great Underground Mountain. Take the amulet and wear it. Push the boulder and go north into the Grotto. Push the key-shaped button. Go northeast to the Shrine. Drop everything except the pigeon and candle. Return southwest to the Grotto and go down. You will fall into the Lowest Hall along with some gravel. Take the gravel and candle, then the pigeon. You will be transported back to the Shrine, where the perch is. Put the gravel in the bowl. Return southwest to the Grotto, then down, and repeat the whole sequence twice, so that there are three rounds' worth of gravel in the bowl. Touch the elixir. Get the rest of your belongings.
Go southwest, south, down, and north to the Stable. Take the saddle and rooster. Go south twice to the Great Underground Woods. Take the fox. Go southwest to the Great Underground Savannah. Take the large fly. Go west and north to the South Shore. Enter the dock, enter the yacht, and press the yellow button. Wait one turn to return to the West Shore. Get out of the boat, out of the dock, and go west twice to the Kennels. Get the toboggan. Go north, up, north, and east to the Banquet Hall. Put the diploma and saddle in the cauldron. Drop everything except the fox, worm, and rooster.
For Your Amusement:
Read the inscription on the toboggan.
Fenshire
Go west twice, south, southwest, and west twice to the Dirigible Hangar. Enter the dirigible and press the right button, for Fenshire. Wait four turns. Leave the dirigible and go south, east, and north to the Marsh. Give the fox, rooster, or worm to the jester. This, of course, is a river crossing puzzle. (*yawn*) To transport all three items to the Nice Lunch Spot, do as follows: Drop the fox and worm, take the rooster north, and drop it. Return south and get the fox. Take it north, get the rooster, drop the fox, and return south. Get the worm, drop the rooster, return north, and drop the worm. Return south for the rooster and take it north.
After the jester makes the stew, you will end up in the Smaller Hangar in Fenshire. Get the hexagonal block. Get in the gondola and press the left button to return to the castle. Wait four turns. Get out into the Dirigible Hangar, then go east twice, northeast, east twice, and north to the Banquet Hall. Get the ruby, candle, toboggan, package with pigeon and perch, and four orbs, and make sure you are wearing the amulet.
For Your Amusement:
Leave the gondola in mid-flight.
Install a magic passage in a wall of the dirigible.
Clean the fireplace in Ruined Hall (south of the Marsh).
Put something into the borphbelly stew cookpot.
Oracle and Glacier
Go south, southeast, east, south, and down twice to the Oracle. Drop the perch. (You're going to be teleporting back here a lot!) Put the ruby in the depression to activate the Oracle. When the oracle blinks, the number of open eyes is cycling through 0-1-2-3-4. Each state lasts for 4 turns. Examine the amulet to find out how many are currently open. Enter the oracle at a time when one eye is open and you will be transported to the Glacier.
Drop the toboggan and ride it. At the Mirror Lake, examine the milky, fiery, smoky, and glittery orbs in the lake. Drop the three that do not show a sleeping maiden, and throw that last one to the east. You will be pushed to West of Mirror. Get off the toboggan (you can leave it behind). Go west into the Chalet and take the scale model. Go east, southeast, and northeast to East of Mirror and retrieve the orb. Drop and then take the pigeon to return to the Oracle. Go up twice, north, west, northwest, and north to the Banquet Hall and put the model in the cauldron.
For Your Amusement:
Look at the reflection of the following objects in the Mirror Lake: candle, wand, glove, goggles, pigeon, perch, amulet, Jester, potion, sapphire, scrap of parchment, either of the magic passages, and a chess piece.
Crag Area
Carry the pigeon, orb, candle, hexagonal block, and wand. Go south, west, down, and southeast to the Royal Zoo. Save the game. Examine the amulet repeatedly. Wait until you're on the first turn of all four eyes being open. Point the wand at the snake to turn it into a rope. Open the cage and take the rope. Drop the pigeon, then take it again. Enter the Oracle. You will be transported to the Crag. (If you got the Glacier instead, you weren't on the first turn that four eyes were open; restore and try again.) Press the key-shaped button. Go down to the Upper Ledge, tie the rope to the spire, and go down again to the Lower Ledge. Take the easel and landscape painting. Drop and take the pigeon to get back to the Oracle.
Enter the Oracle with no eyes open to return to the Crag. Go northeast and then down to the Enchanted Cave. Put the orb on the altar and take the flower. Return up and then go southwest twice to the Hollow. Put the hexagonal block in the hole. Go south to the Iron Mine. Take the sapphire. Return to the Oracle via dropping and taking the pigeon. Go up twice, north, west, northwest, and north to the Banquet Hall. Put the easel and landscape in the cauldron.
For Your Amusement:
Wake the statue in the Enchanted Cave.
Fenshire Again
Go west twice, south, southwest, west twice, and enter the dirigible. Press the right button and wait. When you arrive in Fenshire, exit the dirigible, then go south, east, and south to the Hothouse. When playing Snarfem (tired of minigames yet?), watch the flowers in the upper left and right corners of the screen. The number of flowers open on the left shows you which pile to take from, and the number on the right shows you how many to take. After you win, take the fan.
Return north to the Ruined Hall. Put the flower in the vase, go east to the Secret Room , and take the ladder. Go west twice and north to the Smaller Hangar. Enter the dirigible and press the left button to return to the castle. Leave the dirigible. Go east twice, northeast, east twice, north to the Banquet Hall and put the fan in the cauldron.
Antharia
Make sure you are wearing the hardhat and amulet, and carry the candle, pigeon, and lantern. Go south, southeast, east, south, down twice to the Oracle and enter it when all four eyes are open. You will be transported to the Mine Entrance. Go east, northeast, and north to the Crawl. Press the key-shaped button. Go northwest to the Dead End and take the quill pen. Go southeast, south, southwest, west twice, southwest, southeast, and east to Cliff Bottom. Turn on the lantern. Go up, east (the bird will steal one of your two light sources; don't worry, you'll get it back), and southeast to the Icky Cave.
Cough to summon the Antharian cave-dwelling witches. Say hello to either witch. They'll ask for 6 gloops of water from the Great Underground Oasis and conjure a 9-gloop vial. Take the vial. Go northwest to the aerie. Search the nest and take the tie. Go west and down to the Cliff Bottom. Get your stolen light sources. Turn off the lantern and return to the Oracle by dropping and taking the pigeon. Go up twice, north, west, northwest, north and put the tie and quill in the cauldron.
For Your Amusement:
Taste, smell, touch, and step in the granola in the mines.
Enter the Icky Cave (first time) without a light source, and then cough.
Fublio Valley
Still wearing the amulet, carry the candle, pigeon, and ladder. Go to the Oracle (south, southeast, east, south, down twice) and enter when three eyes are open to reach Foot of Statue. Go southwest, south, and west to Megaboz's Hut. Read the poem. Drop the ladder and climb it. Open the trap door and go up to the Attic. Press the key-shaped button. Go down, east, north, southeast, and east to Outside Shack. Read the sign. Go northeast to Gumboz's Shack. Take the 4-gloop vial. Return to the Oracle via pigeon.
For Your Amusement:
Put a chess piece at Foot of Statue. (To do this: drop the perch there; wear the cloak; give the pigeon to the chess piece). Remove the cloak, get the perch, then return to the Oracle by rubbing the amulet. Then, while holding the perch, put the pigeon in the Oracle's mouth.
Testing Room
Go up twice, north, west, northwest, north to the Banquet Hall. Wear the seaman's cap, and carry the lantern, candle, the wand, the bag with the the bar of flamingo food, and both vials. Put the pigeon in the package and take the package (you'll need to pick it up without touching it in a short while). Go west, west, and south to the Formal Garden. Point the wand at the flamingo and take the lawn ornament. Go east, down, and north twice to the Testing Room. Put the flamingo in one of the booths. Enter the other booth. Open the bag. Wait a few turns until the lawn ornament reverts to a live flamingo ("based on its angry squawks") and then press the button. Eat the flamingo food. Wait a turn or two until the booth effect wears off. Collect your belongings, wear the cap and amulet, and exit the booth.
For Your Amusement:
Use the Testing Room booths to turn yourself into the violin from the Conductor's Pit, and then diagnose. (Well, what did you expect with a setup like that?)
Desert and Oasis
Go south twice, southeast, and east to the West Shore. Enter the dock, enter the yacht, and press the green button to take the yacht to the green dock on the South Shore. Once there, leave the boat, leave the dock, and go south and west to Ring of Dunes. Ride the camel. Go east, north, and west to the Stream. The camel will drink. Go east, south twice, southwest, southeast twice, and northeast to the Great Underground Oasis. Dismount.
Fill the 9-gloop vial. Fill the 4-gloop vial from the 9-gloop vial, then empty the 4-gloop vial. Fill the 4-gloop vial from the 9-gloop vial again (leaving 1 gloop in the 9-gloop vial), then empty the 4-gloop vial. Pour the 9-gloop vial (i.e. the remaining 1 gloop) into the 4-gloop vial. Fill the 9-gloop vial again and fill the 4-gloop vial from it (removing 3 gloops from the 9-gloop vial). Six gloops will now remain in the 9-gloop vial. (Are you tired of classic logic puzzles masquerading as adventure game puzzles yet?) Drop and take the pigeon to jump to the Oracle.
For Your Amusement:
Look inside the camel.
At South Shore, try camel, drink water.
Under the World
Enter the Oracle when all four eyes are open. At Mine Entrance, turn on your lantern. Go west, southwest, southeast, east, up, east, and southeast to the Icky Cave. Give the 9-gloop vial to either the prickly or the sickly witch. Drop the 4-gloop vial. Go northwest, west, and down to Cliff Bottom. Get your stolen light sources. Turn off the lantern. Drop and take the pigeon to return to the Oracle.
Go up twice, north, west, northwest, and north to the Banquet Hall. Get the cup of potion. Go west and south to the Great Hall. Go down five times to Mouth of Cave, then northeast, down twice, west twice, and up to the Ear of the brogmoid under the world. Drink the potion and listen to the ear fungus. Note the name of the cousin the fungi are seeking. Return to the Great Hall: down, east twice, up twice, southwest, and up five times. Go east and north to the Banquet Hall. Get the sapphire.
For Your Amusement:
At Hanging From Roots, let go.
Talk to the giant brogmoid.
Top of the World
Go west, north, northwest four times, northeast, southeast, east four times, and north to the Magic Shop. Get the ring. Make sure you have the sapphire, candle, amulet, pigeon, and cup of potion. Drop and take the pigeon to jump to the Oracle. Put the pigeon in the package. Enter the Oracle when three eyes are open to go to Foot of Statue in Fublio Valley.
Go southwest, west, and up six times to On Top of the World. Drink the potion again and call for the fungus cousin by name. Take the little fungus. Go down six times, east, southeast, south, and down to the Quarry. Wear the ring. You will drop everything. Take the sapphire. When you come to, notice that a rusty key has appeared in the room description. Remove the ring and drop it. Get the candle and key.
Go up, north, northwest, south, and west to Megaboz's Hut. Climb the ladder and go up to the Attic. Unlock the trunk and open it. Drop the key. Get the notebook and fly. Read the notebook to get the magic word. Drop the notebook. Return down, east, north, southeast, south, and down. Get your belongings from the Quarry, except the ring. Drop and take the pigeon to return to the Oracle.
For Your Amusement:
Clean the rusty key, then read it.
Play the harmonica.
Endgame
Go up twice, north, west, northwest, and west to the Great Hall. Go down five times to Mouth of Cave, northeast, down twice, west twice, and up to the Ear of the brogmoid again. Drop the fungus. Go in and take the earwax. Return to the Oracle via pigeon. Enter the Oracle when all four eyes are open to go to the Mine Entrance in Antharia.
Go west, southwest, southeast, east, up, east, and southeast to the Icky Cave. Turn on your lantern. Give the wax to one of the witches. Go northwest, west, down, get the candle and lantern, west, and northwest to Flathead Stadium. Get the club. Pigeon to the Oracle. Go up twice, north, west, northwest, and north to the Banquet Hall. Put the club, lantern, and seaman's cap in the cauldron. Make sure you have the large fly and the larger fly. Go west, south four times to the Secret Passage, and go south, west, and up four times to the Parapet. Get the even larger fly.
Pigeon to the Oracle. Enter the Oracle when two eyes are open to go to the Frigid River Delta. Go northeast twice to River's End. Get the largest fly. Go southwest four times, then northwest. Ask Otto (the toad) for the spyglass. Give him the large fly, the larger fly, the even larger fly, and the largest fly. Ask Otto for the spyglass again. Take it.
Drop the pigeon and take it. Go up twice, north, west, northwest, and north to the Banquet Hall. Put the spyglass in the cauldron. The cauldron should now be "almost lost amongst the clouds of dark power and energy which surround the kettle"; if not, you've missed one of the other 23 items. Say the magic word from the notebook. Don't hang about, now, or you'll be killed: go west, north, then northwest six times, past the Perimeter Wall... and into Zork I!
For Your Amusement:
Swing the bat three times. (save first)
Drop something through the machicolation in the Parapet.
Answer yes when Otto asks you if you think you own the swamp.
At the end of the game, stay inside the castle and wait 5 turns instead of escaping through the Perimeter Wall. (save first)
For Your Amusement at various times:
Swear repeatedly.
Look through any keyhole (such as in the doors to the East or West Wings).
Examine the jester while wearing the goggles.
Cough anywhere other than the Icky Cave.
Wait for the jester to appear in the following places: at the Pits before you've used the bomb; in the Icy Cave; at the Delta location with Otto; in the Testing Room while you are turned into something else.
Point the wand at a chess piece, the bedbug, a fly, the brogmoid, the jester, one of the witches, the executioner, a unicorn, and Otto. In Otto's case, wait around until the magic wears off, too.
Drink the potion and listen to the various elm trees outside the castle, the birch at the Hollow (in the Fjord area), the pine at Quarry's Edge, the spenseweed in the tank, the large and small lily pads in the Delta, the flower, and the roots below the world.
Drop the perch out of the Gondola in mid-air, or into the abyss from Under the World, or into the Oubliette, or over the fence at North of Anthar (south of Flathead Stadium); then pigeon to it.
Sing a lullaby to an inanimate object, when the jester is around, and when no other character is around.
Try these commands: date, time (after 1000 turns), turn around, hello sailor, tip the jester (when he's present), remove hand (other than from the waldo hole), count eyes (when the amulet is not present).
Encyclopedia entries
Illustrated: Dimwit Flathead, Megaboz, Flatheadia, the FrobozzCo Building, Brogmoidism, Zilbeetha, Jester, Four Fantastic Flies of Famathria.
People: Boswell Barwell, Frobesius Fublius, Entharion, Korboz, Gumboz, Zorbius Blattus, Zylo Pickthorn, Belboz, Davmar, Duncanthrax, Wurb Flathead, Ursula Flathead, Saints Foobus, Saint Bovus, Saint Quakko, Saint Wiskus, Saint Honko, Saint Balhu.
Places: Fublio Valley, Fenshire, Quilbozza Beach, Flathead Ocean, Frigid River, Frigid River Valley, Mirror Lake, Eastlands, Westlands, Froblo Park, Borphee, Pheebor, Flood Control Dam #3, Lake Flathead, Largoneth Castle, Egreth Castle, Mount Foobia, Land of Shadow, Rockville Estates, Royal Museum, Mareilon, Antharia, Flathead Stadium, Gray Mountains, Flathead Mountains, Zorbel Pass, Thriff, Gurth, Miznia, Mithicus, Fields of Frotzen, Port Foozle, Frobozz, Aragain Falls, Flathead Fjord, Great Underground Empire.
Events: Diablo Massacre, Zucchini Wars, Treaty of Znurg, Battle of Ragweed Gulch, Endless Fire, Granola Wars.
Brief entries: Peggleboz, Tower of Bozbar, Snarfem, Double Fanucci, Oracle of Bargth, Inquisition, Encyclopedia Frobozzica, Borphbelly Stew, Jewel of Jerrimore, zorkmid, bloit, chess, the Curse, Curse Day, brogmoid, grue, hellhound, Mithican chameleon, Polar Gumffbeast, spenseweed, fungus, Wishyfoo, Prevaricon, Veritassi, Great Underground Highway, FrobozzCo International, Enchanters Guilde, magic potion, magic wand, rebus.
Just for fun: Myself, Zork, Infocom, Steve Meretzky.
Extras
For further entertainment, you may be interested in:
Lists of bugs in Zork Zero: Nathan Simpson, Graeme Cree, XyzzyNews
Posts about this game at The Digital Antiquarian and SPAG
Source code
Points
You score 12 points each for getting the 24 Flathead belongings (288 points) and another 5 points each for putting them (120 points), for 408 points total:
Sceptre, seaman's cap, metronome, t-square, violin, lance, manuscript, zorkmid bill, dumbbell, stock certificate, lantern, screwdriver, glass flask, gaudy crown, diploma, unicorn saddle, scale model of Frobozzco building, easel, landscape painting, fan, quill pen, silk tie, club (baseball bat), and spyglass.
You also score points for the following actions:
| Action | Points | Action | Points |
|---|---|---|---|
| Main Area of Castle | Oracle and Glacier | ||
| Open the secret passage | 18 | Arrive at the Oracle | 10 |
| Get iron key | 20 | Activate the Oracle | 9 |
| Arrive at the Glacier | 10 | ||
| The Village Area | Throw orb at Mirror Lake | 14 | |
| Solve "triplet" riddle | 20 | ||
| Enter Inner Bailey | 20 | Crag Area | |
| Get zorkmid coin | 6 | Arrive at the Crag | 10 |
| Take flower | 25 | ||
| The East Wing | Enter the Iron Mine | 14 | |
| Enter the East Wing | 8 | ||
| Enter all three Pyramid Rooms | 21 | Fenshire Again | |
| Enter the Secret Room | 16 | ||
| The West Wing | |||
| Enter the West Wing | 8 | Antharia | |
| Solve walnut riddle | 20 | Arrive at Mine Entrance | 10 |
| Win Peggleboz | 16 | (Go east from Mine Entrance) | 9 |
| Underground | Fublio Valley | ||
| Arrive at the Plain | 16 | Arrive at Foot of Statue | 10 |
| Get hardhat | 25 | Enter the Attic | 8 |
| Pay toll with zorkmid coin | 14 | ||
| Get anti-pit bomb | 6 | Testing Room | |
| Eat flamingo food | 20 | ||
| Port Foozle | |||
| Win Double Fanucci | 18 | Desert and Oasis | |
| Escape the Inquisition | 25 | Arrive at the Oasis | 8 |
| Enter Wishyfoo territory | 6 | ||
| Top of the World | |||
| The Lake Area | Get rusty key | 14 | |
| Go out on the lake in the yacht | 18 | Reunite the missing fungus cousin | 18 |
| Get the ruby | 25 | ||
| Endgame | |||
| The Grotto and Shrine | Arrive at the Frigid River Delta | 10 | |
| Move boulder | 6 | Escape the castle | 30 |
| Touch elixir in the Grotto | 16 | ||
| Subtotal | 592 | ||
| Fenshire | |||
| Make Borphbelly Stew | 9 | Grand Total | 1000 |
| Arrive in the Hangar | 6 |
Last updated: 4/28/2021