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by Arethinn
June 2003
What would it mean to you if you discovered you really weren't faeborn?
As someone else said above, I honestly haven't a clue what I would do. On the one hand I would be not at all surprised... "Oh, so you mean I'm wrong about yet another thing in my life, well THAT'S really news, oh yeah." But I would be at a total loss as to what to do with myself next. I guess it would fade over time but it would be an aching wound I would never totally forget. I would mourn, I suppose is an accurate term. I would worry that everyone I associate with would no longer desire to do so.
Have you considered, or are you willing to consider, the possibility that you are using the concept as an escape from any insecurities or social problems you might have?
Daily. I know that I am terribly insecure about everything and that I desperately want to "feel special". However, if that were all I wanted out of this, one would think I would have picked something more effective... if anything, being faeborn has a tendency to make me feel more insecure, since I don't seem to measure up to everyone else who is. If I wanted an escape I should have at least picked something which would actually serve that purpose.
What reasons do you have for concluding that this is not the case?
Mainly that I just keep coming back to the idea... kind of the reverse of the way that I finally came to the conclusion that ceremonial magick wasn't for me: no matter how many times I tried to start studying and practicing, I just never cared... being nonhuman just keeps resurfacing.